Monday, August 30th, 2004.…

Ahhh… the dreaded Monday. I gotta say this is one of the most hated days of the week. I know when I used to work full time I had the pleasure of hating Monday mornings every week…. Now that we have been operating our store full time for the past month Mondays has become that dreaded day for me again… just not followed by the sickening knots in my tummy and tears in my eyes I used to feel everyday that I had to go to work…. But that was a serious work issue… and far far behind me now…. I must admit I have been enjoying my new life of working side by side with my hubby (even if it’s 6 days a week) I never really realized how great it is working with your significant other until I did!! And I must say… some people claim that they would never ever work with their spouse… some people claim that is just too much time with their significant other… for me the time we spend together all day is what makes us stronger… We know completely everything about each other and we learn new things about one another and each other every day!! It is a pure pleasure and a treat of mine to wake up everyday and know that he is gonna be by my side for the rest of the day b’cus he wants to…. not b’cus he has to…

This morning was just as good as most in our house… we got up and even managed to make it to the gym this morning!! Yeah… maybe we can get back on track?? Ha ha ha… Well I won’t be that brazen to say that we have learnt our lazy lesson this past few months… we still looked half dead and wanted to die (at least I know I wanted to) after the first 20 minutes!! I noticed that we have a new gym girl… there is a new behind the front counter girl… no more Summi!! (I'll call her Summi).. I must admit Summi and I haven’t really been the best of gym buddies… Once again… like many times in my life… she was under the impression that I had eyes for her gym crush…. Her and a trainer from our gym share googly eyes and flirty touches and when I came full time on the scene (I used to work all day so in order to get my work outs in I was at the gym at 6 in the morning … the time when 'lover boy' wasn’t training) She was dead set on the fact that I was after her trainer… glares and stares…. Gossip about me probably for sure circulated…. The real story… I am MARRIED people!! And happily married… and to top it all off I fancy ladies!! I’m not looking for a new guy!! I was just an innocent gym client minding my own daily gym biz… When one day "A" (Summi's trainer) decided to befriend me…. even offered to do free training sessions with me…. He he he… I guess being a cutie blonde helps … not to mention fresh meat on the gym floor… ha ha ha…. I find the gym is such a meat market… the trainers swarm all the attractive ladies in hopes of picking up a hot client here and there… it probably helps the time fly .... staring at hot ass all day… ha ha ha… "A".... I could tell was trying to make me his 'mark'… but hey!! He was a nice guy and seemed to have true intentions…. Being married himself and seeming to love his job of training and helping people meet their physical goals… I figured he was just being a nice guy to the 'new girl' and offering to help me out…. Well… I don’t know if my original perceptions were correct... the following weeks of "A" and I’s new training friendship… I started to notice the glares… and stares… and I knew the accusations where flying about me and my ‘supposed’ interest in "A"… I had to put it to a stop…. So I stopped talking to A… As the months have followed since our original training sessions and I notice that A and Summi's relationship has shown signs of being more than 'just friends'…. I have been seeing A in a different light… I think he has been fooling around on his wife with Summi… and her issues with me where a reflection of the affection going on behind the scenes… That makes me sick and a bit pissed... I am sick b'cus .... One: if you are married... YOU ARE MARRIED!! You take a vow... and it is not one to be taken lightly!! Two: I see this as becoming such the 'norm' trend... having extra cirricular affairs.... I realize you are at work all day with these people... but you made a commitment!! Make it work with your spouse first!!... It makes me sick... and lately with all the gym drama that has happened ( one of the trainers got caught cheating supposedly with clients on his preggers wife!! :shock: ) I find it discusting to be that way and call yourself a professional!! I just see people as being all too selfish in their quest to find themselves or what they think is themselves... usually b'cus they have been persuaded by another... that they aren't willing to stop and work shit out when it happens... they would rather brush it under some hidden soul mat and forget the problem exists.... I watch stupid talk shows about it all the time... and you think it's all bull... but living from experience... I know that an affair in a marriage can be detremental to a marriage (NO... Not me silly's... I'm not the adulterer.... my marriage has never been sacificed for a moment of stupidity... I got married b'cus I wanted the commitment!!) But I was a very intical part of the relationships break down and saw what the effects of adultry can do to a family and marriage.... I would never wish that apon any person... BUT... if you choose that bed to sleep in ... you better be ready to pay the price to sleep in those expensive sheets you just used!!

Enough with the gym adultry hour.... Today at work I was all alone... and very bored... There wasn't many people through the doors today and I have been pretty much sitting here wondering where Daddy is and how long it really is gonna take him to do his 'errand'.... But the jig was up soon... he calls with suspicious questions.... only ones he would ask if up to something.... So I answer the questions the way I want the situation to turn out :wink: cus that's what us girls have power on... ha ha.... And voila!! When I got home this evening after my very long a draining day.... ha ha ha... I can't say that enough... our house was a different color down our hall.... and up the stiars... I am happy to see the color change... now time to paint the red in the bedroom... va va va voom!! Ha ha ha...

Well looks like my week is off to a slow start.. but hey... at least I don't have to be part of the Summi / A drama anymore... damn haters.... ha ha ha....Well until tommorow I hope you all have a great start to your weeks... take care peeps!!

Sunday, August 28th, 2004.…

I’ve heard people say that Sunday is your down day… the day you do all the things you wanna do or the day you laze around and do nothing all day… Whatever you consider to be your ‘down’ time that is what you do on this day… Well all week I have been wanting to laze around on my couch all day… I’ve been wanting to do dick all…. all day! Sunday is our only day off… so that sparks a bit of a dilemma b’cus it is our only day off we would like to accomplish something during our only day to ourselves…. But still I can be a lazy ass and don’t want to do a thing all day…. My morning was like most this week… I lazed around and enjoyed taking my sweet ass time… Daddy was a tad bit different… he has had a fire in his pants since he woke up this morning at 5... Grrrrr… Like a child worse than the kitties… he is having issues with my doddling... He doesn’t seem to see how much I enjoy my doddling some mornings… I try to be on schedule and up to speed most mornings… I can’t help it if I’m a girlie and require a little extra time in the mornings... he he.. but I must admit … on days that we have the time and I can doddle… he usually lets me doddle to my fullest extent… but today he seems to have issues with the doddling… I think he has been feeling extremely cooped up lately with working the store full time… poor fella… maybe we need a little vacay!! Next weekend is a long one… maybe we’ll hop in the car and go for a mini trip… We were hoping that our old employee would have called us by now and offer to work a shift or two… if that was the case we were going to head out to BC… But she hasn’t called and we don’t want to leave the store in Corkey’s hands so we’re gonna stay put… no trip to BC this week… We have also been thinking about going to Calgary to visit some of our friends down there and see the zoo!! I haven’t seen Twy in years and she lives down there now…so I have been thinking about going to see her one day soon… what better time than the long weekend… Who knows… we’ll probably change our minds by mid-week anyways… so it’s all just hear say now…

Pacing from room to room… I can feel Daddy’s vibe and it’s not good… I can tell he is feeling completely cooped up and he doesn’t want to spend the day lazing around on the couch watching movies and eating cookie dough... ha ha ha… ok ok … minus the cookie dough but still… I really wanted to laze today!! He has been pacing the rooms looking for something that will entertain his mind for more than a moment… nothing seems to be that stimulating today… usually the internet can kill his time quite well… but it seems that he hasn’t found anything worth looking at online lately… It seems like that with most things lately… Everything has lost it’s lustre… it’s appeal…. it’s over all …. worth. Nothing seems to be worth the hassle of the shop… or worth the amount requested to purchase the item … nothing seems to be or feel overly amusing or even give me an iota of satisfaction anymore… I feel like life has hit a lull… Which in some cases can be an actuality… and in our case I feel b’cus we have to work our store full time and have a 6 days a week commitment we have gotten into a lull… We were hoping for so many more things to be different in our lives by now and none of them are really reality for us at this moment… We were wanting to do a bunch of indoor and outdoor work to our house by the end of the summer….. haven’t done that… We wanted to spend more time on the road travelling… haven’t done that either…. We were even anticipating finding a special someone to spend our summer, fall, winter, spring together with….. That’s not a huge thing… we haven’t really had the time to develop any sort of relationship with anyone at this moment…. With working the store all week and our only day off during the week we wanna sleep and clean … I don’t really view us as being a huge catch to anyone at this moment…I’m sure we’ll find her one day… just these past few months hasn’t been the right time… and who knows what the future holds….

I knew it was too good to be true when I was lounging on the couch…. A very agitated Daddy comes in and says…. "OK… Let’s get out of here"… He has had enough of doing nothing and wants to get out… he doesn’t care where we go… he just wants to get out… He took me for a nice drive out into the country to look at some lots we looked at months ago… They’re all lakefront lots and when we first discovered these lots we figured that the lots would sell out fast… well… almost a year later they are still available for purchase… The lake that these lots are situated on is a very nice little lake… reminds me a lot of BC when we are driving around looking at the cabins around here…. We reminisced about how great BC weather is and how we would like to live there again… The thought of spending 110+ thousand on just a lot here in Alberta is outrageous… at least it seems outrageous to us… especially since the climate here is the shits… We would rather spend that type of money on a lot located in a warmer climate than the one here… But like I said… that’s just us… For example Cork… his dream climate is somewhere like here… somewhere where it doesn’t get above 25 too often and tends to be on the cooler side than the warmer side of things…. But us… no way… we wanna live in a climate that is 30 + everyday… somewhere where the sun is always shining and it never snows…. Ha ha ha… sounds like a dream world hey?? Ha ha ha… well as long as we’re Canadian citizens we’re gonna have to life with snow in the winters…

Our evening was quite quiet… we lazed around and watched the telle…. Tonight the MTV Music Video Awards are on… I am such a celeb junkie I of course had to watch…. Nothing extremely interesting happened on the program… at least nothing I found to be too out there… but then again it takes alot to make me think something is way out there…. I’ve been feeling like a hog lately… ate a whole pie today :oops: and haven’t been to the gym in days… I’m starting to feel very shitty about myself… but that’s my problem not yours… don’t know why I complain about it so much… But then again what person do you know that doesn’t complain about themselves every now and then?? So needless to say we have to get our butts back into the gym…. No ifs ands or butts about it!!

Well I hope you all have had a productive or relaxing time this weekend… That’s what we get them for…. Until tomorrow, take care y’all….

Thursday, August 26th, 2004.…

Wow… we actually got up early and made it to the gym…. It felt great to actually do something active for myself today…. You never realize how good it feels to work out in the mornings until you don’t do it for a few days… D was at the gym this morning… she looked all nice and tanned… she’s been working with a trainer… she’s getting a nicely toned body on her too…. It might be the tan that helps… I know that when you tan... you usually look 5-10 pounds lighter… ha ha... I guess if you work on tv and you’re tanned you look like you would on the street!! Ha ha ha… But seriously… it was nice to see D and her hot little body today :P Ha ha ha ha… I sometimes find myself looking at women and comparing them to myself… ya ya I know... I’m sure we have all done this from time to time… but when I can look at a girl and see her progression through hard work and dedication… such as getting a trainer… and I know her body was the same size as mine when she started her quest for the ’hot’ body… it kinda gets me motivated… this happened to me a few weeks back when I saw T at her wedding… I knew T and I were the same measurements everywhere b’cus we had to measure each other for kickboxing… we were the exact same… right down to even our weight… but over the years she has lost weight and has been toning up… she looks awesome.. I found myself being envious… damn green eyed devil :twisted: … So lately with all of these T and D hot bodies around me I have found myself wanting to make a change for the better…. We’ll see… I can only get soo motivated before exhaustion….

The afternoon was riddled with old reruns of all of our favourite tv programs from the past… Friends… Sienfeld… yadda yadda yadda… all the great sitcoms of past enlightenment…. Cable sure helps the days pass a little faster around here… at least now we have more watching options than the fuzzy television screen with what looks like the Olympics… or the only clear station that we would get on the tv was the French Canadian channel…. Ahhh the lovely language of Canadian French… a language that is only really for them and not really recognized by any other French speaking community in the world… but we have to acknowledge it’s existence by having at least everything on our Canadian packaging printed in Canadian French and English… it’s really quite bizarre… if you live in the province of Quebec you have to have everything on your store frontage signs in Canadian French… or at least half and half… you have to have all of your stationary and advertising for your company done in French and English….. If you don’t have the French on your stuff… you’re going to get charged!! Yowsaaa… for not having French on your signage??Glad we don't live there.... French class didn't really pay off....

Finally an evening by ourselves…. no Corkey following us home…. Can’t help but feel a little sorry for the fella though… being alone and all… since he’s not the kinda guy that chooses to be alone… He is alone… period... Probably b’cus he’s not that great of a catch... and he knows it.. Actually brags about how great of a ‘slob’ he is!! :shock: Wow… talk about verbal degradement…. You know… I am always one to believe that your mood is dependant on what you make it… just like life… it is what you make it… if you wanna brood and shit on others… then be prepared to feel like everyone is looking at you as a brooding asshole… and quite possibly feel like a brooding asshole... if you think your life is shit and you’re always going to be shit… than you’re probably going to always feel that way b’cus you are doing nothing for yourself mentally to make your physical self do something for yourself!!…. Now... there are some that just can’t help their negative frame of mind… they view the world from what they believe to be reality… now you can either believe in their perception of reality… or not… It’s your choice to choose to see the world from their own point of view…. I would like to believe that most people think the way they wanna think… believe in the realities that they want to believe… but unfortunately some of these realities and points of view are skewed …. Some people also bend their personal beliefs and morals to fit those of others…. Looking for acceptance is usually why these people bend their personal morals…. They are so willing to change their life to conform to another’s that they are even willing to believe that they are what the other is looking for b’cus they believe in the same things… if only to impress the other… I say this b’cus Cork is a guy who always speaks of having a family one day… and my friend that he seems to be soo hung up on.. Well she might not be able to have children in the future… I mention this to Cork just as a ‘you should know’…. he was soo easily willing to say… "so… I didn’t want any kids"... yet the previous day he was yapping to Daddy about how when he has kids he’s not going to be a shitty parent like their parents were…. So what’s up with this new revelation of not wanting children on Cork’s part?? Oh I know… the girl he likes may not want them…. That’s why… I see this so often with people looking for love… so willing to pass up their wants and goals for the sake of being with someone that may or may not be there for life… But I suppose that’s how many people in life are… I can’t be one to say that I haven’t myself conformed to fit my relationship once or twice in our life span together… and I see many more changes for us in the future too… the more we grow in life together as one the more we realize who it is we truly are… and what we truly want out of life…. When you are with a partner that can help you through these tough and trying times of self enlightenment… and help you discover yourself for who you are and not force a personality or lifestyle on you… that’s when you know you have found someone worth keeping around… But enough about that… I have found my Prince Charming… now where is our Princess??

Well… another day… another dollar!! Ha ha…there I go again... I have been finding more time lately for my typing… hence the humungo blogs recently…. Hope you like... I may not be so inspired in the future… but I’ll never be at a loss for words… As someone once told me... they could give me a word... one word and I could come up with a long drawn out personal true life story about that word in my life.... ha ha ha... so I'll never be at a loss for words!!

Well until tomorrow… keep typing and take care y’all…..

Wednesday, August 25th, 2004.….

This has got to stop… we have missed 4 days at the gym now… not good! We were doing so well… we made sure to only miss (max.) 1 day a week… and now we’re back into our old lazy ways…. It’s just sooo much easier to lie around in bed all morning than go and run for an hour… isn’t it?? Well not for long… I am sure we’ll be back in our sweats tomorrow... I can’t keep all this extra summer tubbi on… blah... Our morning this morning consisted of shopping for new office furniture… tables to be exact.. We’re getting cable and internet at work today and our back office is a mess… so if we expect someone to be able to set up the cable and internet properly we should at least make an effort to organize the office area… What better place to go than Ikea… Man this place is a huge maze o’ constructible furniture… the only time I can handle this place is on a weekday during the earlier hours of the morning… anything after 11 am... Your asking for a headache… grrrrr… damn crowds… Anyways… this morning we went to Ikea and searched high and low for something we could use in our small space that wasn’t over our budget… ha ha ha… anything over 10 bucks is over budget for us … ha ha ha… when it comes to the store… ha ha ha… Well… whatdya know?? Nothing that we’re interested in!… This doesn’t come as a surprise to me… since lately I haven’t had an urge to spend or buy anything for a very long time… the thought of having to buy something really bothers me… I hate the thought of having to spend hours in a mall to try and find something to wear… I tolerate the fact that you have to buy and shop for your necessities… but when it comes to anything more… I can’t find the desire in myself to shop my little heart out like I did back in the day…

With Ikea a bust we decided to rearrange what we have in the office and make good with the tables we already have…. The cable company told us that their install tech will be out here between the hours of 11-4... You know how ‘trusty’ cable companies are… they say 11-4... but really mean 4-11... ha ha ha… We were impressed… the cable guy showed up almost right after 11... After a few minutes of poking around upstairs and figuring out were the cable lines are in the building he confesses to Daddy that he doesn’t have a power drill… ?? WTF?? You’re an install tech and you don’t have a drill?? Wow… I woulda figured he would at least have been slightly prepared.... So after doing as much as he can…. which was not much… he then proceeds to ask Daddy if he could go get his drill from home… to drill the hole himself... and then leaves our cable modem behind and says "all you gotta do is hook it all up and it should work"…. So now we… meaning Daddy… has to go and drill a hole through the ceiling in our back office up into the ceiling space where the tech had left all the cable just lying there waiting for the hole to be drilled… after that was done we had the pleasure of hooking up our internet modem… which after realizing our laptop didn’t hook up properly without a special card slot thingy majiggie ... grrrr.... thats another story on it's own…. It was time to hook up our modem and see it in all of it’s internet providing glory… but… like everything… it’s fucked!! Don’t know why it isn’t working… all we did is hook it up... and it should go... right?? Wrong… turns out the tech shouldn’t have left without phoning in head quarters with the info for our internet confirmation... But he did leave… and now the 'over the phone' tech can’t help me over the phone b’cus we don’t exist to them… yet… So now we have to wait for another tech to come out and hook us up properly... since the other guy couldn’t do his job… grrrr… So now we wait… probably for another week to get our internet hooked up right… they say we’re on a priority list… b’cus their other tech was incompident ass … but like always we’ll probably have to wait… But... like all good things… it comes to those who wait….

Our day at the store was slow... too slow... Barely did any numbers today… not good!… Corkey has been swarming around the store today too… looking to ‘chat’ as he says… ya right… you’re so one dimensional Cork it’s not even funny!… I have been feeling a bit regretful… well not really regretful but can’t find the word I’m looking for… I was kinda harsh last night to Cork… said some things that may have been taken too hard… After the hours of the begging and badgering by Cork yesterday… over Twy and working The Store I ended up saying … "I wouldn’t place all your hopes and dreams on your future being The Store and Twy.."… It’s the truth… but still it could hurt the guy… especially after the hours of yapping and the hope he has displayed… he’s really gung ho…. about her and about the store… but honestly... the guy doesn’t have it in him to run a business…. It’s tough work… it seems easy on the surfice but you really have to think about what is going on… you get robbed blind by jack-offs… you have to do bank transactions and deal with the warehouse on a bi-weekly basis... and you have to keep up the stock... and that requires actually paying attention to your stock and ordering the stock… something I don’t think Cork is really up for… I think he’s more in ‘like’ with the idea of the simple life the store portrays… but underneath the surfice of the television watching and video game playing there is actual work that goes on here… really there is!! Until the day he acknowledges the fact that this store is actually a business and not a hang out I don’t think he’s very well suited to be running this business…. He claimed today as he was leaving our store … that he was going to go and find another job…. Hmmm… I’d like to see that…

Well… it’s been a long a boring day… nothing much else to say… it seems that opening my mouth has been my problem lately… I talk too much… say the wrong things… or the right things to some… in Cork’s case… ha ha… but.. What are you gonna do?? Shut up?? NAH…. This is me we’re talking about… ha ha ha…

Well until tomorrow... take care y’all….