Monday, September 13th, 2004.....

We have been good to ourselves these past few days... We have made it to the gym everyday (except Sunday) and made it to the gym this morning without haste.... I find most of the time when we miss a day we tend to not snap back right away... we tend to get lazy and not go for a few days... BUT... we didn't do that this week... Maybe it's b'cus today is D's b-day... and since we got her a little gift... we wanted to make sure we were there (at the gym) this morning to give D her little gift... She wasn't there this morning :( hmmm?? Wonder where she is?? But then again... wouldn't you wanna sleep in on your birthday too?? Instead of coming to the stinky hot gym to sweat your ass off?? I know I slept in on my b-day... he he he....

Well... I guess we're gonna have to wait until tommorow to give D her gift... no biggy I am sure she can live a day without what we got her.... I on the oher hand did the utmost numero uno bad thing to do when purchasing gifts for a friend.... I bought the same thing for me!! :opps: I know.. I am assamed of myself... but I couldn't help it... Red eyeshadow... just too hot for the winter!! I couldn't pass it up!! ha ha ha.... So today I wore my new eyeshadow.... feeling all good and gleeming... :D.... Damn it feels good to put on some fresh new make up and feel like a glamour girl for a day... But I am always a glamour girl.... I always like to put on eyeshadow and look all girlie... But yesterday I wasn't feeling it... so I felt like a bag o' shyte... But today on the other hand is another day... and today I feel like dolling myself up and looking my girlie best!! Even if it's only to work all day :roll: Monday... ugh... The dreaded beginning of the week... and as always the weather is georgeous and sunny out... nothing like it has been these last few weeks around here.... with the snow last week and the rain following the weeks have been getting cooler and you can feel the fall chill in the air.... Our summer is gone :( In our attempt to keep the summer alive we have been thinking about hopping a flight to LV... YeeHaw!! I would love to go to Vegas this month!! Daddy has been chomping at the bit to find someone to man the store for a weekend... looks like Cork might be the canidate.... weather or not we'll decided he is the prime canidate is still to be seen... I dunno if he can handle running our store... we'll see.... hopfully he does work out and we can get our vacay in... I would love to lie by the pool all day.... while I still can...

So after our long and boring day at the store we got the priviledge of being harassed... you see.... Daddy's Daddy has an issue with saying when enough is enough... So what happens is his Dad goes out for 'business meetings'.... and gets completely hammered.... smashed... falling over tanked... are you getting the point?? Far from calling your limit... Soooo.... what happens when he is trashed and needs someone to drive him and his car home??? He calls US!!.... Well not tonight... Daddy has had enough with being his parents personal 'drunk taxi drive your car home too' service.... I'm sorry but if you got a tonne of cash (which Daddy's parents do) and know you are going out to drink (which happens everytime he has one of these 'meetings') Why would you drive your 'special' car to your meeting... and then not want to take a cab home b'cus you're trashed and can't drive your precious car home and you don't want to leave your precious car behind.... UH NUH... WE are not your personal taxi and car drop off service.... No we aren't going to drive all the way to the other side of town to pick your drunk ass up to drive you all the way to the other side of town to drop you and your car off at home... Then we have to drive all the way back to our place.... after we are already home for the night .... NOPE I don't think so... So... Ring... ring.... ring... ring... rrrrriiinnnnggggg!!! Then again ring.. ring.. ring... this happened about 10 times before we shut our phone off.... "PHONE your wife!!" ..... get her to pick your drunk ass up... and here's a concept... get your other son to drive your car home... He does live a block away from you guys and not 20 minutes away on the other side of town!! Or I got an even better idea... if your gonna go out and drink... take a cab!! We don't call them when we're all trashed and can't drive... we call a cab!! That's what responsible grown up people do.... Something I think his parents lack.... maturity... Ya they got cash.. lots of cash... therefore they firgure they are 'grown up' after all we have grown up money... you should be grown up... right?? WRONG... having money doesn't make you grown up... it doesn't make you mature... Having a brain and using it.... being responsible and planning ahead is being mature..... But then again.. I'm a big kid at heart... so who am I to judge who is mature or not....

Well... after the hour of phone harassment.... we decided to research some nice yummy snacks online.... DON'T EVER DO THIS if you love to eat!! We wanted to go out and get dipped cones... you know chocolate dipped soft serve icecream cones.... ya... well they're loaded in calories and fat.... Worse yet I did research on one of my all time fav. icecream treats the Cookie Dough Blizzard (pretty much a large cup of soft serve icecream mixed with cookie dough) I was amazed to find out that a large serving is 1352 calories and 52 grams of fat!!! :shock: Oh my!! More than some peoples daily alotted caloric intake!!I know that is more than the amount of calories I try to eat a day....and 52 grams of fat??? That's just insane!! Looks like I won't be eating one of those in a long while..... The dipped cones where slightly lower on the calorie scale... and less grams of fat .... But still too much... too much for diet time..... I guess I can always dream of eating yummy things in my dreams tonight.....

And on that note.... dream a little sweet dream for me tonight... So until tommorow take care and sweet dreams!

[b]The last few days..... Sept. 4th - 7th, 2004.[/b]

Well... I have decided to take a little bit of a break from my blog... I have been finding myself just wanting to vent about my loneliness and depression... I have found myself to be a little less than uplifting and inspirational... I myself have lost my inspiration to write lately.... Why?? I dunno... maybe it's been my lack of interest... since I got chastised for being a friendly open indivual whom happens to find the term hun or sweetie to be a 'friendly' term not an offensive demeaning term it truely is :roll: ya right... you're never gonna convince me on that one..... but still.... the little blow to my so called ego... kinda made me think.... am I miss representing myself?? Am I really that off based that I don't even know who I am?? I have been very proud of myself these last few years b'cus I truely belive I have started to blossom or so to say... [i]ha ha[/i]... most women mid 20's blossom from pregnancy... I got serious... commited and started searching for myself when I turned 20.... ever since I have started to blossom... I have started to find myself less caring of what others think ... ya I still got those every girlie moments where I ask.. "do I look fat in this?" [i]ha ha ha[/i]... but I don't really care what the answer is... [i]ha ha ha[/i]... I don't really care that some online reject has issues with the terms others call me... that isn't my issue... not the reason for my lack of blogging inspiration....

Maybe it has been my lonliness... my feeling that someone is out there that I care for and they don't care back... but once again... like online rejects... I really don't care... I just care to care b'cus I think most people like to feel sorry for themselves... Most people enjoy crying or feeling depressed b'cus it's better than thinking they are feeling nothing else!!... I find this the most now a days.... how many friends do you know that aren't sad about something??? If it isn't a man or lack of a man... or woman [i]if you are our case [/i]..... Or it's the lack of money... or lack of possesions... or even lack of fame (something only very few can really obtain).... Or even they whine about themselves.... lack of boobs ... or too much hip... too little hair... not enough appeal... It's everywhere... we all are depressed about something we hate .... But still we all choose to be depressed and sad b'cus of all of these condidtions [i]or mixes of[/i]... that we cannot obtain or don't obtain... We love to be depressed.....

People just learn how to deal with their depression different... Some of us seem to think we aren't... until we really look at our lives (WARNING: do not look at life if you don't want 'reality dpression') and realize that our life is not what we wanted it to be... or even in the realm of what we thought our future was gonna be like.... I like to call that reality depression.... I think most of us are living with that one..... But there is also other types of self inflicted depression... I like to think of those people as The Needers... They're Needers of attention so they tend to find themselves with any damn tv prompted illness.... These people don't only suffer from depression but they probably also suffer from many other tv illnesses... I know a lady like this.... She has nothing to be depressed about... other than her own self-depression!! I also find many reality depressees... are actually half Needer too... it's what keeps them hooked..... But whatever .... I don't know if it's my depression or not that is creating my lack or writing libedo... I don't know why I have been finding myself so in the shits...

Actually I must admit... I have been having a harsh case of reality depression ... I have been trying to not care about things that are personally bothering me... b'cus I can't do shit about any of it!! But.... I still try to figure this shit out... I still try to some how come to terms with it all inside my head... I find my psycho babble is not the greatest blog material.... I don't like to really vent and feel like shit... But honestly... I find that my blog might also be suffering from lack of inspiration b'cus I write about my day ... everyday... which isn't all that bad.... BUT... I have found myself to be a bit of a bore to MYSELF... Urgh!!! Do I do anything??? Do I ever have anything interesting to post about?? Other than my whining or my bragging or my bitching???? Am I a total self righteous bitch?? Have I become [i]that[/i] girl?? I have always thought of myself as a caring individual.... a person that cares about those around her... but lately I have found myself jaded and uncaring... most people I meet I find myself being suspicious... I find myself wondering their motives.... their intentions.... I find myself caring less and less about meeting new people... I suppose writing this blog out everyday is a stretch for me... considering why should I care?? My life goes on... you don't all need to read it... I write it so my friends and family can read it.... that's why... no self righteous reasoning there... But I must admit.... I started blogging for the pure joy of verbally expressing myself.... kinda like an outlet... a reason for online activity... But as it became a chore... or what some might think of as a chore... (I know hubby doesn't understand my writing ... but then again he can't be bothered to type more than two liners).... I didn't find it a deterant... I actually desided to share my blog with others... inviting them all in on my verbal diary... or verbal diarrhea [i]ha ha ha[/i]... as most probably think this is.... But it has been my diarrhea... my words and all of my time... so if I don't wanna write... I don't have to!!

Over the past few days.... nothing overly exciting has happened.... We had a great weekend... we were going to go to Calgary... but we decided to stay in bed all weekend :D Much better!!.... But still... had a case of 'life check-up' this weekend... still kinda down and out about it... [i]long story[/i]... and I have typed way too much bitching today... so whatever... I'll keep it in my head... maybe you'll all be blessed with reading about it tommorow... [i]ha ha ha [/i]... doubt it... I promised no more blogging about 'her' months ago.... Had a slip up just the other day... opps... sorry... but ... this is my blog and she has been on my mind a tonne... so :P na ne na ne na na!!! Well hopefully I'll be in a better mood tommorow... I hope you all are doing well... until tommorow... take care y'all

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004....

This morning we decided to sleep in :? I know I know we were gonna try to make it to the gym or a regular basis again... But lately these mornings we have been having are so cool and univiting that our bed seems much more warmer and inviting... so why not?? We also had plans with head office to go into the warehouse and select new stock :shock: Always fun looking for new things. So today we pickd up quite a few new things... yee!! :D Hopefully we will be able to sell up a little storm these next few months... these months to come (Sept-Nov.) are our slowest at the store.... So the more we can bring in to change up the stock or the store's image will help thing sell as long as we can get the clientele in...

Today we finally got our internet hooked up at work.... Last week they (the internet company) were supposed to hook it up properly but.. that didn't happen... and like I mentioned when blogging last week about the incopitant ass that didn't hook up our net properly then... that the internet companies promise to get someone out here sooner than the estimated time they had given me was a bunch of hooie too!! I don't know why I keep beliving in the good of people or in people's word.... It seems that everyone is willing to put on a front or fascade I should say... in order to get what they want... ha ha ha.. So nieve I am... I know that's the way the world works.. duh!! Is that not what people have told me all along?? Ha ha ha.... But then again I choose to still believe in the good of all people and to beilive that not everyone is out there to screw you over... But in that same breath I still don't have faith in many as I used to ... I find myself being jaded and somewhat withdrawn from the crowd at first before I find that the ones I am around are trust worthy.... Paranoid I guess.... and why not?? Now a days there is so many ways to mess with a person's head, heart, financial situation... their life in general!! With the way technology is now a days who knows... everyone that is reading my blog could be someone out to con me over... just sitting there reading and waiting for their opportunity to pounce... Many people online here in tblog seem to feel that that is the intent of most and many people here on tblog.... They seem to feel that many people are sitting and waiting to pounce... Wheather it be a man waiting for some innocent willing woman to mindlessly wander into their blog to read and fall in love with their persona they persent themselves as... ok.. fine... that is this man choice... and that is the fellow tblog ladie's choice... Hardly a pounce.... But some would find this type of blogging interaction dangerous and uncalled for.... If the man or woman's intend is to abuse the other... wheather that be mentally or emotionally... or even worse yet physically... that is uncalled for and pouncing... If a married man/woman interacts with many online lovers in the sence of being a single person and tries to find new love behind their significant others back.... that is pouncing and uncalled for... But if you are just reading someone blog to inspire yourself... or to get an insight to a different person's point of view... I don't see the harm in that... BUT... if you are reading a blog with the intent of spying on the individual... wheather it be for work purposes (brown nosing co-worker... looking to get you in shit)... or wheather to make you part of a target market audience... (like big corps that pay people to spy on you and your web activities to target you better)... thats not right!! Like for example... I was watching the news today and they had a story about a man that has been a manager of a popular coffee house for 5 + years.... He had an online personal blog and his superiors found out about it and all he bad mouthing of the company this employee was doing on his blog... Well... They fired his ass and now he is whining to the news about how it's unfair that he got the boot... Hmmmmm... this can be a catch 22 situation... One side you can sympathized and realize this man dilemma .... you wonder "did I ever say something online about my job?" .... and if you did... who really cares?? Why should you get fired for your own thoughts?? But then on the other side.... he shouldn't be bitching about the company (by name) and he shouldn't expect that his thoughts would be excepted... not only that... you make your blog public knowledge... what do you expect??

All this blog talk... blah blah blah... I guess all you can really do is take everything with a grain of salt  and watch what you blog about if you are yapping about your job and you're not your own boss... otherwise :oops: you may be sticking your foot in your mouth..... and quite possibly lose your job!!

Well on that lovely note I'm gonna get going back to my ever so exciting life.... until tommorow... take care y'all.... 

Tuesday, August 31st, 2004....

Well... today has been off to a good start... got up.. made it to the gym... even had extra time to spare this morning.. managing a little doddling in here and there... he he he... We got to see D today :D.... Always great to see her... It seems all she has been up to lately is work work work too... Seems like work is the thing people are doing thee days... ha ha ha... I say 'these days' b'cus everyone seemed so much more interested in skipping out of their offices and taking vacays during the summer and now that the sun has been hiding and the temps are dropping, people don't seem to mind being holed up in their office so much... I know I don't seem to mind hanging out at the store so much all day when the weather is the shits out... It seems like a waste of my efforts to try and do something on a shitty day... but then again I don't have much down time to myself much anymore so I could use a day in bed here and there.... It was too funny this morning Daddy and D were discussing their sleeping patterns and how shitty of a sleep Daddy gets most nights... D mentions she also sleeps shitty too... but when she asked me whether I have sleep problems... Daddy was quick to quip.. "NO.. she's like a cat!!" ... "she can sleep whereever .. whenever"... True.. I am like a cat.. I do enjoy lounging around and being a lazy ass... I could sleep all day ... wake up for a few hours... then go back to bed and sleep all night!! I enjoy a good laze... give me some sunshine to lie in and ta da... I'm in heaven!! Just like a cat.. he he he...

On our drive to the store today Daddy brings up an interesting thought... Why can't you get a do over life?? Ya.... good question... why can't you get a do over?? Oh I know... b'cus your life is supposed to be what you make it... and if you fuck it up... you're supposed to learn the lesson it provides you with... I can understand why some would want a do over life... In Daddy's case it was a shitty childhood and family that he sometimes wishes he could do over... Now I don't blame the guy... he didn't get the greatest of families or even enjoyed a 'normal' childhood... BUT unfortunately for him and many others that wish they could get a do over... they can't.. and you are gonna have to make your life the best you can... Many still have an opportunity to make great changes in their lives.. many people do.. But it's those life choices that we make that make us the people we are... Like for example the other day I made blog reference to a person I know requireing a reference letter written for them... why?? B'cus they are having to go to court for an offence they are being charged for... Now I totally agree with the charges filed against this person... they did something wrong.. they got busted... that was their choice to make... When the first arrest went down this inidivual was put on curfew... now what that means is that this person has to be home by 10 pm... no later!! If you get caught.. it's not a good thing... Now don't you think if your already in shit with the law you would follow the rules??.. right?? nope... they got busted breaking curfew... Now don't you think if you got caught once you would have learnt your lesson?? Well... I knew about the first curfew indescresion... then I was asked to write this letter of reference... I didn't want to do it in the first place b'cus of the original arrest and the curfew break.. I don't want to give someone a refence when they are obviously not taking their sentence seriously... now I have found out that this person has broken curfew again!! Urgh... and now you want me to give my word for your law breakin ass?? I don't think so.....

Today something else interesting happened to me... I got a phone call... NO not the 'special one' I have been hoping for since Feb.... I got a call from an airline company that I had applied for a job at months ago... Now I call this interesting b'cus my life is in a different place now... back then when I applied for the job I was interested in working again and being out and about doing my own thing... But.. over the past months working together with Daddy and being together all the time I find that I don't know if I want to go back to a 'normal' job again... or leave Daddy's side when I don't want to... It's one thing to have to work... but I don't have to work.... So as far as taking a job b'cus the need for mula.. that isn't our case... But I do like the thought of working for a larger company with all the 'perks'.... I do like the thought of meeting new people and working in an environment that 'seems' to be fun and exciting.... But.. I see that as being just an elusion... of course you're going to put on a happy face when your company relies on it!! So it's got me thinking... do I really wanna work again?? Do I really wanna deal with an asshole for a boss again?? Do I want to be the little guy on the todem pole at work ... again?? I dunno... but I have a week or so to think it over... that's when I'll be getting an e-mail indicating wheather or not they want me to continue on with their interviewing process.... My tummy is already working it's self up into knots... :? is that a good thing??

Well.. the day was slow.. yet again... I think I did some of my lowest sales in the past few days... We think it's the back to school lull... all the adults spend their mula on their kiddies... So no sex toys for you this week... ha ha ha... Hopefully things will pick up around here... we had awesome sales this month ... but the dreaded 'evening it all out' factor came into play.. We were short on the front till a few of the days and we got broken into.. so no extra mula... sales were good.. but got all eaten up by our monthly incidences... Oh well.. thats the ropes of running a business... Tonight we are having Cork over (yet again) and we're gonna watch some movies... and get some sushi.. yummm... it's a good thing he is coming by.. I have been having problems staying awake late enough to watch my nightly programs... lately I have just been coming home and sleeping... With Daddy painting all day the last two days he has been a tired puppy... but I gotta sy our house is starting to look amazing!! I am soo happy with the color change... Thanx Daddy!!

Well I'm off for another day... until tommorow I hope you are all doing great... and take care of yourselves... you are your most valuble asset!!